A new recruit to the post office, finds himself working on Derby Station. What he finds there amazes him. He joins an array of weird and wonderful characters. Boozer and Gambler George responds to any criticism by saying - your not effing up my social life, claims that it is not his social life, it is his job fall on deaf ears.

The Ghost Squad are often mentioned but never seen. A manager normally in charge is continually told to stop barking like a twat, get your fags out, and get those pissed up prats out of the pub.

When George is arrested for drinking on duty he refuses to piss in the bottle or blow in the bag and the police beat a hasty retreat after being accused of postman prejudice.
In the main office postmen are dying of overwork! And the “Sun” are investigating while calling the head postmaster - The butcher of Derby.

A “Sun” back disguised as a postman, infiltrates a union meeting, is discovered stripped naked and thrown out into the street. He claims he was kidnapped by three beautiful women, robbed, raped and called a male chauvinist pig.

The “Sun” loose interest in the head postmaster and concentrate instead on the indignities allegedly heaped on their reporter. Across the country police stations are besieged by legions of men claiming they have suffered similar ordeals. A battle involving post office management, the union, and British rail events rapidly progress from the strange to the down right bizarre.